Shattered Glass
by Love Is BeastN
Summary: People change, and consequentially, so do hearts. Whose stupid idea was love anyway?  Miyagi/Shinobu, Misaki/Usagi, Shinobu/Misaki.  T for now.
1. A Chance Meeting

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character, settings, etc. associated with this fic.\**

**Special thanks to my lovely editors: shadow101202 and Immortal-Moon44**

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><p><strong>Shattered Glass<strong>

**1: A Chance Meeting**

As predetermined by a book of natural customs - whose author never existed outside the capacity of one's own mind, found in any tangible form, or expounded in any amount of words - it is understood that everything and everybody changes one way or another over the course of their transient existence on this home we call terra firma. Forms may be reformed, thoughts rethought, morale reconsidered, and affections redirected. Rational reasons, if any, for such transformations are not usually grasped straightaway by the curious bystanders, the ones left unchanged, or at all if truths (or untruths) never leave that ones lips.

Whose?

Who knows, to be certain. That one is not whom he used to be, so whom can say exactly _who _he is? However, one thing is as close to certain as anything: change is like a dandelion, spreading it's seeds all about it for its offspring to grow.

Now with these new flowers in bloom, you can look upon them as beautiful blossoms sprung from hard, crusted soil, a better form of the jealous flower that preceded it. You could cherish it, congratulate it for its being born into a person's heart. Or, you could crush it like the weed you know it is, try to exterminate its volatile existence.

To Shinobu, it was a weed.

*.*.*.*.

Miyagi tried his best to ignore the little brat staring at him from across the room, arms crossed and foot tapping. Tip, tap, tip, tap. Damn, that was annoying. Shinobu wouldn't let him forget that he was there no matter what. Hiroki didn't much appreciate his presence there either, especially seeing as he did nothing but stand around and make snide comments, glaring daggers at him. Miyagi threw his coworker a desperate look only to see that Hiroki directed him a look so similar to Shinobu's he thought it uncanny. That aside, he wondered testily just how many times had he told Shinobu not to bother him at work. Didn't that boy understand that he only hindered him here? Sighing, he turned his attention back to a stack of half-graded papers.

"Are you almost done?" Shinobu asked for the eighth time in the past hour.

"No."

"Hurry up."

Abandoning his pen with some force as he placed it on the desk, Miyagi turned to look at the insolent young blond and quipped bitterly, "If you're so bored here, why don't you leave? Surely you have better things to do then stand around here pestering me?"

Shinobu gave him one of his infamous spine chilling glowers that could make flowers wither and die. If only.

Miyagi ground his teeth and growled curtly, "Go make some friends or something. You're in the way here."

Shinobu scowled at him a few moments longer. Realizing he wasn't going to make the black-haired man falter in the battle they were having with their eyes, he fired one last dirty look Hiroki's way before snarling, "Fine." He took care to kick a cabinet and a chair on his way out and slammed the door behind him. Miyagi sighed and touched his temples; thank God.

Shinobu stood fuming in the hallway just outside the door for a few minutes. Damn Miyagi, it seemed like he never have time for him anymore. He'd rather be working or hanging out with that Kamijou slut. And at home he was always too tired or got home too late to do anything. And then there was… that. It was starting to piss him off.

"Um… Excuse me?"

Shinobu looked up from the hole he had unconsciously been trying burn into the wall opposite of him. His wild gaze met the emerald eyes of a meek-looking boy, who jumped a little. The boy continued hesitantly, "Uh… You're blocking the door."

Shinobu just looked at him in a scrutinizing, dubious manner, as if he had spoken in an alien language; hate and fury still burned deep in his eyes, and it only flared upon seeing another human being. He grabbed the boy's arm and violently hauled him off, rather easily, he noted. _Man, this guy is a weakling…_

Misaki stumbled along behind the deranged boy. What the heck? The blond kicked open a door and jerked him through, Misaki's face making a rough introduction to the door when it hit the wall and bounced back. Finally, the angry boy released his grip and Misaki dropped to the floor, the hand supporting him gone. He rubbed his cheek and flexed his wrist. That had hurt. Wondering where he had been taken to and why, he looked around to see they were in the bathroom. The other boy was torturing a stall with a series of vengeful kicks. He was muttering incoherently, something along the lines of: "Damn Miyagi. Fuck-ass Miyagi. Shit-head Miyagi."

"Um…" Misaki was too afraid to move, in fear that might earn him one of those ferocious kicks. Sorry poor little bathroom stall, you're on your own.

Suddenly, the aggressive boy spun on him. "What did you want with Miyagi? He's busy right now, he wouldn't talk to you even if you went in."

Misaki just stared at him, bewildered and at a loss for words. He had actually gone to see Kamijou-sensei to give him his excuse for being absent yesterday, which he now held crumpled in his left hand.

"Well? Spit it out."

Misaki held up his note, which Shinobu promptly snatched away to read. Even though excuses are not required for missed days in college, Usagi had insisted on writing Misaki once, since the absence was his fault in the first place. Misaki proofread it beforehand to make sure it was appropriate and didn't say anything like: "Excuse Misaki's absence yesterday, his ass hurt from me fucking him all night." It was decent, but Misaki wasn't planning on turning it in, until Usagi said that he would call Hiroki and ask if he had. Misaki doubted that he would, but he wouldn't put it past that man.

"You're gay."

"W-What?" _How? _"N-No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are." Shinobu crumpled the slip of paper and dropped it to the floor. "It's fine, so am I."

"B-But I'm not gay! You've got it wrong! I-" He stopped when he saw that nobody was listening; instead, the already-pale boy was leaned over the sink, shaking. The face that had been red with fury just moments ago was now drained of all color. Misaki stood slowly and glanced toward the door. Would the boy notice if he left? He glanced back and suddenly realized how small and frail he looked. He couldn't be but a few inches shorter than himself, and had almost the same physique, but the way his tiny shoulders were trembling made him look much smaller - like a girl.

Misaki took a step toward him and murmured, "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am!" he snapped. "I'm just… I… I'm gonna be sick…" His head spun nauseously and he made a dash for the nearest toilet.

Misaki, cursedly compassionate, waited until he was through, then he reached out and touched his shoulder tentatively, only to have it slapped away. "You sure you're okay? I can call someone if-"

"I'm fine," he spat. He didn't know what was wrong with him, but he had this heavy feeling set deep in his stomach like a rock, and his chest hurt. Even though he didn't know why he hurt so much, he decided to blame it on Miyagi. He'd make sure the old man paid when he got home. For now, he had this little twerp to deal with. "What's your name?"

Misaki was startled. "M-Misaki."

Shinobu glared at him a moment longer before he got up and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Well? What do you want?"

"What? You were the one who dragged me here!" he bellowed, aghast.

Shinobu rolled his eyes and paced to the sink to wash his mouth out. Then, he headed for the door without another word, convinced that "Misaki" wasn't some mistress of Miyagi's.

"Wait!" Misaki called. Shinobu stopped with his hand on the door and threw a black look over his shoulder. Misaki hesitated.

"Well?" Shinobu asked irritably.

Misaki didn't know why he had called out to the boy. Maybe he was just worried about him. He said the only thing he could think of that he hoped wouldn't get his head bit off, "What's your name?"

He stared at him blankly as if he was the most idiotic being in the world. He turned and opened the door. "Shinobu." Then he was gone.

.*.*.*.*

"Where have you been?"

The malice in Miyagi's voice made Shinobu flinch. He threw his bag down and headed for the kitchen. "Oh? And what about you?" Almost every day for the past week Miyagi had come home late because what he claimed he was late because of "work" or he "got held up." What a load of crap. "You told me to go make some friends, didn't you?"

Miyagi huffed and lit a cigarette. "Oh, did you find someone that can put up with you? Congratulations," he laughed shortly.

Shinobu, however, was not amused. His fist balled up and he punched at something, but stopped just short of hitting the doorframe. Instead, he took a deep breath and went to the fridge, he spoke in a controlled tone, "What do you want for supper?"

"I've already eaten."

Shinobu sighed and threw the cabbage back in the drawer. He didn't feel like eating anyway. "Then, Miyagi… can we do it tonight?" he tried.

There was a pause before the answer came back, the same answer he'd received in so many different forms: "No, not tonight."

Grabbing up his stuff, Shinobu walked toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To my own apartment." He, once again, slammed the door on his way out.

Shinobu turned the key in the doorknob of the adjacent apartment with trembling fingers, his hurt and despair finally catching up to him. When he got in he didn't bother locking the door, but merely collapsed on the bed, steaming in frustration. When he was worn out from screaming into his pillow, he lay limp, throat constricted, and feeling suffocated. The small whimper that escaped his lips next was not of his own accord, but he couldn't keep it in any longer. His hand came up to cover his face as a series of sobs racked his chest. How long had it been since all this started? Since Miyagi had become this way, so cold, so uncaring, neglectful, tart and unloving. Since he stopped caring? Shinobu pulled the covers over his head; he shivered, but not from the cold. He kept listening for the door, hoping that maybe Miyagi would come to check on him.

The door never opened.

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><p><strong>Comments? Criticism? Review! :D <strong>


	2. An Unexpected Save

**2: An Unexpected Save**

A large hand slammed into the wall beside Misaki's head; playful lavender eyes burned into him as a grin played on Usagi's teasing lips. "Good morning."

Misaki deadpanned and looked away, a small blush gracing his cheeks. _Hell of a way to greet someone. _"Morning," he murmured. Now that all formalities were over with, Usagi leaned in and kissed his lover in his usual rough way, pulling back after only a few seconds. Usagi smirked at the way Misaki waited, as if expecting more from his usually pushy lover.

Even after Usagi had gone, Misaki remained against the wall, unmoving except for the rapid rise and fall of his chest, and waited on his heart to stop palpitating so madly. Usagi was at the kitchen table, flipping through the newspaper (which Misaki knew he was not reading, only looking for the comics).When he had calmed down enough, he moved into the kitchen area to fix breakfast. He went about chopping vegetables and frying things in a sort of half-daze. Misaki was starting to think that he would never get used to Usagi's touches. _Like hell I'd have to,_ he thought crossly, rebuking himself.

When he sat down opposite of Usagi to eat, the other man asked aimlessly, "So did anything interesting happen in school yesterday?"

Misaki stopped eating and stared at his plate for a second, remembering that boy in the bathroom, before replying slowly, "Nothing much."

The rest of the day was a repeat of yesterday evening: wondering about Shinobu, so much so that he could hardly pay attention to his classes. Why had he been crying? Did he know Miyagi-sensei well? Was Miyagi the one who caused his tears? If so, what did he do? Why was Shinobu so mean to him, or was he like that to everyone? Misaki didn't have the answers to any of those questions and doubted he'd ever get them. He doubted he would ever see Shinobu again, for that matter. He'd never seen him around school aside from yesterday, so he didn't even know if he attended Mitsuhashi.

After school, Misaki nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw said person standing at the school gate, glaring at him from across the courtyard. Startled, Misaki wondered if that kid do anything _but_ glare. Misaki pretended like he hadn't seen him and tried to walk by unnoticed, but Shinobu moved to block his path with a few brisk steps. _So he was waiting for me_, Misaki thought.

"U-Uh… Hi?" he said. Shinobu just glowered at him and said nothing. "Did you want something?"

"Where are you going?"

Misaki didn't see how it was any of his business, but he replied anyway. "To the store to get groceries."

"…Can I come?" By the look on his face and the way he seemed to force the words out, it looked as if merely saying the words caused him pain. _If he doesn't want to talk to me he should just stop._

"Um. Sure."

He didn't say anything else and simply trailed behind Misaki as he began walking. After a moment of enduring the thick atmosphere around them, he thought of something to say to break the awkwardness. "Why?"

Shinobu hesitated then huffing indignantly, lashing his gaze away from the other boy as if he didn't want to answer. Then after a while he mumbled softly, "He told me to make some friends."

_There he goes saying "he" again. Does he mean Miyagi-sensei? I mean, he was standing outside his office and was really defensive about him. Plus he kept saying his name in the bathroom and-__ Wait. What? Friends? Me, him, friends? No way! No, no, no, no, no!_

"U-Uh…" Misaki could feel Shinobu's forbidding glower boring into him, daring him to object.

Shinobu bit the corner of his lip in frustration. How was he supposed to make friends if this wimp couldn't even say anything that didn't include him mumbling in that meek, stuttering little voice "uh" or "um". A hopeless case! Surely there were other people he could make friends with, make be his friend if it came down to it. Wait… he already had friends, didn't he? Sure, a few. Shinobu listed them off in his head, eliminating any who vexed him, and was surprised that he could count them all on his fingers.

Frustrated, Shinobu ground his teeth and marched on, climbing the stairs up the bus and sitting down beside the passive Misaki. Not noticing how Misaki shifted uncomfortably away from him, Shinobu stared at the seat in front of him, trying to blow off some stream. Miyagi had told him to make some friends. It was an order probably meant to be rhetorical, but also one that was undoubtedly serious; most likely just to keep him occupied and out of Miyagi's hair. Shinobu wasn't thrilled to be carrying out this task, but he thought it might help him take his mind off that condescending man. He loved Miyagi and he would do anything he told him to, and if that meant meeting a few new people, so be it.

After a silent bus ride, an awkward one for Misaki, they arrived at the supermarket. Misaki grabbed a basket and tried to pretend like his little tag-along was not there, but Shinobu shadowed him ominously, making snippy little remarks at his choice of products. To Misaki it was like having a sandy little Chihuahua nipping at his heels. As Misaki was examining the cucumbers, he noticed the blond staring at a three foot high pyramid of cabbages, a pensive, almost entranced expression in his eyes.

"Do you want one?" Shinobu nodded, but turned his pockets inside out to show that he had no money with him. "Oh, that's okay. I can get it. Pick one out," Misaki offered then turned back to the cucumbers. When he looked back, Shinobu's arms were so full of cabbages that he couldn't even see him, just one big cabbage monster. After a minute or two of animate arguing, a forlorn Shinobu felt lost carrying only one cabbage around the supermarket.

Because Shinobu looked at and complained about everything, it took them two hours to shop for only a few bags of groceries. When they finally left the store, Misaki vowed to never ever offer to take him with him again. Even Usagi wasn't as unruly as this guy!

The streetlights were beginning to come on as they made their way home. Coincidentally, they both lived on the same side of town - much to Misaki's concealed displeasure.

"Where do you live again?" Misaki asked, feeling a bit too eager to have rid of him. Shinobu pointed to an apartment building a few blocks ahead. He nodded. Good, almost there; it was a pity that it was so close his own building, though.

"Hey, punk. Isn't it past your bedtime?" a surly voice jeered from behind them. Misaki started and warily glanced over his shoulder to see a burly man and a wiry-looking hoodlum step forth from the murky shadows into the revealing streetlight. Their faces were hard yet chiding. Misaki felt his heart jump and cower in fear, wondering who they were talking to. Shinobu kept walking, not bothering to look at them, an unruly and annoyed look on his face. Misaki rushed to keep up.

The strangers ran around to block Shinobu's and his path again. "Where do you think you're going?" Shinobu paid them no mind and shouldered his way between them. One of them huffed in anger for being ignored. He grabbed the blond by the shoulder roughly and pulled him back, shoving him into his friend who shoved him back. "Your boyfriend's not here to protect you this time, you gay-shit," he spat.

Misaki stood there, astounded. He thought about trying to help, but his knees shook, his breath caught in his closed up throat, and his muscles locked out of fear. He had never been in a situation like this before, and the streets were barren except for them. When he was able to pull his eyes from the brawny man's threatening muscled arms, he looked to see Shinobu's reaction. His face was hardened with perfected stoicism, seemingly unruffled by the rough looking harassers. The defiant, proud look in his eyes said that he wasn't afraid of anything right now. For some reason, Misaki admired his collected composure, when before he'd only found it annoying.

"Go away," Shinobu muttered, looking the bigger one in the eyes.

He cowered in mock fear and nudged his buddy. "Look, the little fag wants us to leave. And we haven't even got to the fun part yet!" They loomed closer with tightened fists.

"Stop!" Misaki screamed without even thinking about it (he wished he had), and stepped between them, masking his own fear with the anger that exceeded it.

"Who's this? Another twink?"

"Just leave him alone." Misaki was surprised at how steady his voice sounded, for his heart was beating so loud he was amazed they couldn't hear it.

"Yeah? And what are you going to do to make me?" When Misaki hesitated and his cocksure demeanor faltered they snickered and started in again, this time to beat the snot out of both of them. "Hey punk," the first one cuffed Shinobu under the chin. 'You like guys right, so I guess you wouldn't mind if we had a little fun with you, huh?" he snickered.

Out of nowhere, Misaki remembered a self-defense technique that Usagi had taught him when he was worried Haruhiko might steal him away again. Just as a fist was about to come in fierce contact with his face he ducked and came up with a sharp knee to his assailant's groin. The other boy released one hand from Shinobu's collar to check on his felled, groaning companion. Shinobu seized the opportunity and jerked free, landing a blow to the man's jaw with a sickening pop. Misaki grabbed Shinobu and ran, leaving their attackers cursing and swearing after them.

They didn't stop until they reached the apartment building, glancing back to make sure they weren't being followed. Misaki leaned on his knees breathlessly, but not from the run. He was still scared out of his mind and thinking himself insane for pulling such a brash stunt. He would have never done that under normal circumstances, or if it was just himself who was being bullied.

Feeling a pair of eyes scrutinizing him, he turned to see Shinobu staring at him as if he'd grown two heads and a tail. Misaki licked his lips and tried to bring some moister back to his throat. "What?" he managed to say on his second try.

Shinobu realized what he was doing and quickly looked away, but his gaze still wandered up to pore over this boy he had thought to be too wimpy to even protect himself, let alone someone else against some people like that. Anyway, Misaki didn't seem to like him very much, just tolerated him like Miyagi did. "Why?"

"Huh? Why what?" Misaki asked, perturbed.

"Why did you help me? You didn't have to say anything to them, you could have ran."

Misaki swallowed and panted, "Because they would have pummeled you." Shinobu's face heated up and he turned away from him abruptly, stalking away. "Wait, I didn't mean that. I'm sure you could've taken them. I mean, I know I wouldn't have stood a chance. That was just luck." Misaki slowly started following him, weary now that the adrenaline had drained from his veins. He saw something in his peripheral vision and quickened his pace.

Shinobu glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "You don't have to walk me to my door, you know…"

Misaki stomach turned over. He concluded that it was just because he was edgy to get off the streets because those bullies were still nearby, and now they had a reason to hassle him. "Who were those people?"

"Just a few creeps from school."

After a moment, he asked, "What do they have against you?" He knew better than to ask and knew that he would only receive bitterness, yet when Shinobu answered he didn't seem angry in the least bit.

"Prejudice."

Misaki made a quick list: to Shinobu there was nothing wrong with being gay; he was used to being bullied because of it; he had a temper but knew when to hold his tongue; and he might possibly be dating Miyagi-sensei.

They went up the stairs to the fourth floor, then halfway down the adjoining hall. Shinobu looked at Misaki expectantly. Misaki didn't know what he wanted and started to freak out. "W-What?"

"Go away, idiot." He waited till he'd turned down the hallway before putting the key in the knob and going in. The door shut behind him.

Misaki stopped and noted the room number, then walked hesitantly toward the end of the hallway, in no hurry to run into their tormentors again. He briefly considered calling Usagi to come pick him when his thoughts were torn away from him by the sound of crashing and screaming.

Shinobu leaned against the door in Miyagi's place, watching his lover reel and yell deliriously as he smashed another ashtray against the wall, this time almost hitting his target. He was drunk again.

Misaki stood there and listened for a moment. Then, the door suddenly slammed open and Shinobu stomped out with Miyagi close on his heels. "Yusth been cheatin' omeh, han't you? Know you hath! Why else would you be out s'late?" he slurred.

The instant Shinobu spotted Misaki still standing there he got an idea. He was sick and tired of Miyagi's blasted mood swings. One moment he didn't care if Shinobu was out sleeping with every person he passed on the street, and the next he was Judy Moody wanting to know where he'd been and if he was cheating on him - when Shinobu knew for a fact that Miyagi was always cheating on him! Lately, Miyagi had come across a habit of drinking and Shinobu didn't know why, but he suspected he was doing it deliberately to piss him off. Sometimes he didn't even think Miyagi knew why he'd started. Despite Shinobu's pleading for him to stop, he never did.

Well, now it was his turn to get back at him, to shake him up a bit. It was his turn to deliberately piss him off.

He smirked dangerously and grabbed Misaki around the waist, pulling him to his side and into his own apartment directly beside Miyagi's, knowing fully well what assumption would be made. The black-haired man yanked the door back open before it shut and muttered something inarticulately. Clearly he was not happy, for he got louder and his accusations and threats increased. Shinobu glowered darkly up at him for a few moments, calculating, before spinning a bewildered Misaki around and crashing their lips together.

Misaki's eyes widened and his heart stopped. His mind went blank, and he just stood there. Stupidly, he wondered why Shinobu's lips were so warm.

Shinobu pulled away after only a few drawn-out seconds of something that wasn't exactly kissing, just lip contact, and quickly ducked through the door that Miyagi had let go of when he'd stumbled backwards in shock. He pulled it tight and locked it. He sighed and took the key he'd given Miyagi out of his pocket and threw it on the coffee table maliciously, then sunk into the couch and buried his head in his hands.

Once Misaki's intellectual perspective came back into focus somewhat adequately, he concluded two things: one, yes, Shinobu was dating Miyagi, and two, Shinobu was the one who was insane, not himself. Currently, the unpredictable youth was murmuring a long stream of cursing and incantations, it seemed, hexing Miyagi to hellfire.

Misaki couldn't ignore his misery, no mater how embarrassed he was from being kissed by this almost-stranger. He went over and sat down beside him on the couch, fully expecting him to scoot away. He didn't and Misaki, astonished, murmured softly, "Um… Are you okay?"

Shinobu remained silent for a moment, then asked, precariously, "Aren't you mad at me?"

Misaki contemplated on that for a second. _Was_ he mad at him? He'd just kissed him and dragged him into his apartment, which would probably raise hell from both their lovers, if Usagi ever found out. Strangely enough, he found that he wasn't. He wasn't looking forward to the quarrel this might cause. A little unsettled yes, but mad, no. "Well, if that was the only way you were going to get him to leave you alone, for now at least…"

He shrugged and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "He probably won't remember it anyway, and if he does…"

For some reason, Misaki felt guilty. Seeing this spiteful boy so despondent tugged at his heartstrings, as overbearing as Shinobu's usual deriding ridicule. He almost wished for that destructive attitude back, even though he'd only known it for a few days. "Has this been happening a lot lately?"

He nodded despairingly. "I hate him when he's like that…" Suddenly he looked up, and sputtered defensively, "I know what you're thinking: how could I love a piece of shit like him, right? He's not always like that. At least he wasn't. He's really nice and caring. Inside. It's just…" He couldn't finish, he didn't know why Miyagi was acting the way he was.

Misaki felt sorry for him. He knew how he would feel if he came home to find Usagi three sheets to the wind and violent, abusive even; he didn't think he could take it. Shinobu was a lot stronger than him, with more willpower, and he was on the verge of breaking.

"I never thought he'd do this. I didn't think he would ever stop loving me…" His eyes were bleak and stunned, staring at nothing. "I guess that's my problem." He laughed a short, derisive chuckle, but even so, his voice cracked often as he continued. "I don't think enough. I should have known it would never work. I was the one who forced this relationship in the first place, so it's my fault. It's all my fault…" He started sobbing. Misaki sat there quietly for a minute, unsure what to do. Then, he moved a little bit closer, trying to comfort him. Shinobu was so out of it that he leaned on him in sorrow and cried himself out. Misaki tried not to move, despite his arm falling asleep along with the blond. It was a bit awkward, but he figured it was okay since he was just helping a friend.

A long time passed. Shinobu's breathing evened out into a cadence in the background. The last of the sun's light drained from the room and the silvery glow of the moon seeped in to replace it. Misaki gazed sleepily at the floor in front of him, his thoughts that were rapidly swirling around him since the night started, began to slow down to a calmer murmur of contemplation. Here he was, in the apartment of this boy he hardly knew, in the middle of the night, with his drunken teacher in the next apartment over, who just happens to be the boy sleeping on his shoulder's lover. Misaki could only imagine, or want to imagine, what Usagi would say when he got home…

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><p><strong>*insert usual threat, bribe, or plea for reviews here*<strong>


	3. Because it's Destiny

**3: Because It's Destiny**

Shinobu stirred tiresomely, raising his arm to shield his eyes from the light. In his just-awoken haze, he dimly wondered why he was lying on the edge of the couch, then he felt something move behind him. Alarmed, he jabbed his elbow backward as hard as he could and leapt to his feet. He stared down at the slender boy laying there, now clutching his stomach and gasping. Shinobu relaxed when he recognized him.

"Ow… Why'd you do that?" Misaki gasped breathlessly.

Shinobu responded with, "Why are you still here?"

Misaki suddenly realized where he was with a start and he jumped up. Crap! He had forgotten to call Usagi and tell him where was. He had full intentions of running all the way home in that moment, then figured if he was already this late, he was screwed anyway. He sighed and looked over to see Shinobu heading toward the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Where else?"

Misaki followed him. Shinobu turned down the hall to the apartment next door. Misaki stopped him before he went in and asked, "Um... If Miyagi is like… that, then why do you keep going to see him?" Misaki knew the answer he had received last night, but for some reason he thought that there must be more to it than just Miyagi's being "a kind person at heart." There had to be something he didn't know that kept Shinobu tied to this man.

The blond boy's hair fell over his eyes and he looked down and away. He whispered in a tired voice, "Because it's destiny." Then he unlocked the door and disappeared inside.

Misaki stood there trying to make sense of what he just heard. Destiny? He frowned and murmured, "Some destiny…" Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he trudged down the stairs and into the already crowded street below. Making very little progress with what little effort he was putting into walking, he made his way through the throng of people on their way to work in the early morning. Misaki had a sinking feeling in his stomach that might have been from the premonition of the punishment he knew he would receive from Usagi, but he knew part of it was actually his stewing over Shinobu's situation.

As he neared his own building, he heard the excitement before he saw it. Boisterous voices clambered from groups of concerned looking common folk as they gathered around a few people that were handing out fliers. Four police cars were parked outside of the building with an alarm blaring full blast. Cops diffused the place as if they had been spread there like butter on toast, and the area surrounding was marked off with fluorescent yellow "DO NOT CROSS" tape. Misaki jumped back around the corner with a start and peeked out at the chaotic scene. _What's going on? _Misaki pulled the hood of his shirt up over his face and, cautiously, managed to sneak around unnoticed. He tapped the nearest officer on the shoulder gingerly. The man garbed in the blue uniform held up his finger as he snapped at a subordinate who wasn't listening; instead, he was ogling at Misaki. The first policeman turned, glaring, then amazement took over his features. He grabbed Misaki by the shoulders and pulled his hood down and examined him. He called out to some of the other officers and soon everybody was crowding around a very frightened and confused Misaki, all wearing relieved and rejoicing expressions.

One of them said, "Somebody go inform Usami-sama." Misaki heard that and his face, as well as his heart and the rock in his stomach, fell some more. Usagi ordered all of this for him?

Most of the police left, but a few stayed to escort Misaki into the building and to question him. They sat in the lobby and Misaki tried to ignore how the receptionist behind the counter trying, but not succeeding, to watch and eavesdrop inconspicuously.

After about ten minutes in this uncomfortable setting, the sound of a slammed door broke the air and Akihiko stormed in. Misaki, taking heed of the man's death-promising glare, squeaked and jumped up, looking for a place to hide. As sure death approached, he settled on ducking behind the chair that the officer was sitting in. But it was futile; no one could escape Usagi's wrath, all in his path fell at his feet. Well, not really. Misaki's overactive imagination always ran wild when danger was near.

Usagi curtly thanked the cops in a way that somehow seemed polite, then walked around and scooped Misaki up like a cat - Misaki was squirming like one, too. This was it. He was done for. All hope was abandoned. All efforts for escape would be futile. Misaki quit struggling by the time they reached the elevator as he prepared for his impending doom.

The elevator beeped as it opened and Usagi shifted the trembling Misaki's weight to one arm effortlessly while he entered the door code. He dumped him onto the couch. Misaki was on his knees, his hands together as he silently prayed for mercy. Usagi ignored him and sat on the other couch across from him. Resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He sat there quietly, trying to control himself by focusing on breathing. Misaki watched him warily, sadly, guiltily. He wished that Usagi would just yell at him. Silence was worse. It meant that he was too mad to speak.

Misaki sat there and hugged his knees to his chest, barely able to look at his lover while Usagi _wouldn't_ look. They stayed like that for a while, then Usagi finally lifted his head. By now the fire in his eyes had quenched some, but his mouth was still pressed into a hard line, his eyebrows knitted together.

"Where were you last night?" he asked, reserved, at a distance.

"A-At a friend's house."

"Who?"

"Shinobu-san."

Usagi's eyes narrowed again and started to smolder. "Why?"

Misaki almost started to panic. He couldn't exactly remember why. "W-Well, I met him the other day, and yesterday he invited himself to go grocery shopping with me. Then…"

"Where are they, then?"

At first Misaki was confused, and then he realized that when Shinobu and he were attacked that he had dropped the bags. "Shit…" he hissed, taking in the skeptical look Usagi was giving him.

"Then…?" he prompted, as if waiting to be humored.

"Uh… Then we were walking home. His place is just a few blocks down so we came together… But on the way we got jumped. That's how I lost the groceries. B-But we got away!" he added hastily upon seeing Usagi's horrified expression.

"Were you hurt?"

"No."

There was a pause. "Why did you stay with him instead of coming home, if it's so close."

"U-Uh…" He didn't know why he hadn't left when Shinobu fell asleep. Suddenly a small, guilty blush crept onto his cheeks as he remembered his last thought before falling asleep. He had thought that Shinobu's sleeping face was cute.

When Misaki didn't answer him, Usagi stood, walked around the table, and leaned over him, placing a hand on the couch beside his head. His scrutinizing gaze burned into the blameworthy one of Misaki. "What happened?"

"Nothing." It was true. Nothing much had happened. Then, a stomach-churning wave of indignation swept over him. Why did he have to explain himself to this man anyway? He had done nothing wrong - it's not as if Usagi owned him. Arrogant bastard…

Usagi suddenly looked very tired. He sagged into Misaki, who almost shrank away from him, the older man breathing in his scent and lying his head in Misaki's lap. He just didn't get it. Why hadn't Misaki told him he was going to be staying out? He could have at least called. Usagi wanted to trust Misaki. Misaki was always talking about trust. But how could he, after this? This was one thing that he never thought Misaki would do, that's why he couldn't believe it. Misaki wouldn't cheat on him; that just wasn't Misaki. "Okay, I believe you."

Misaki was braced to spit back some kind of retort, then realized that Usagi was apologizing. He exhaled a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding, dizzy with nonsensical relief and confusion. "Um… thanks?" he breathed and hesitantly placed a hand on Usagi's head, feeling his silky hair. His chest constricted painfully when he felt a few warm drops land in his lap. Again, guilt lashed at Misaki, torturing his conscious extensively, but at the same time anger at being treated like a child.

Usagi lay there, completely vulnerable and emotion-weary. For all of his resentment, Misaki couldn't deny that he didn't like seeing Usagi like this was; moreover, knowing that he had caused it hurt him immensely. Misaki wanted to take Usagi's mind off of it, to show that he was here and that he wasn't going to leave him. The brown-haired boy bit his lip and looked down at the sobbing man, struggling with his conflicting emotions. Slowly, decisively, he lightly placed his hand on the author's cheek and lifted his face. Then, he leaned down, trying not think about what he was doing, and pressed his lips to Usagi's. Misaki couldn't help but note how much colder they were compared to Shinobu's. His eyes were closed so he could not see the other man's reaction, but he could feel the surprise emanating from him. He waited for Usagi to take over, but when he didn't Misaki panicked. What was he supposed to do now? He tried frantically to remember what Usagi always did when he kissed him, but he had very little luck thinking. _Maybe… just… move my lips some?_

Usagi smirked slightly, causing Misaki to pull back, blushing a deep, furious red. The silver-haired man grinned and captured his lover's lips in a passionate kiss as he continued to position them so that he was straddling the young man's hips on the couch.

Misaki wasn't sure if was forgiven or if this was his punishment.

xXxXx

Shinobu locked the door behind him as he entered Miyagi's apartment. Without having to think about it, he went to where he knew Miyagi would be. He found the ebony-haired man collapsed on the bathroom floor in a cold sweat. Shinobu sighed and helped him up, but Miyagi fell to his knees again at the toilet and vomited. Shinobu ground his teeth and reached under the sink. He dampened a towel and wiped Miyagi's forehead with it. "Hangovers are a bitch, aren't they?" he mumbled chidingly.

Miyagi glared up at him with glassy eyes, then quickly closed them, wincing. The light only sent daggers at them to pierce his brain, increasing his incredible migraine. He allowed Shinobu to help him to the couch when he'd finished puking his insides out. Shinobu went to retrieve some Tylenol, proceeding to simply handing Miyagi the whole bottle, which he downed in one gulp.

When the headache subsided enough, Miyagi asked slowly, "Why are you here?"

Shinobu moved into the kitchen to find something for them to eat. "Isn't it obvious? To take care of your worthless ass."

Miyagi's anger flared and his head split painfully again. "… Get out."

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

Shinobu put down the box of cereal he had managed to find and looked at him in disbelief. "Miyagi…?"

"Get out!" he threw the nearest thing within reach at Shinobu and kicked the coffee table over.

Shinobu bit his lip till he tasted blood. Then he whipped around and stalked toward the door. Before he got there, however, his conscience caught up to him. Without turning, he murmured, "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean it."

"…"

"I… I love you," he tried again. _I did love him, didn't I? I just hate the way he's acting right now, the way he's drinking... But I can't handle this right now... _

"Who cares…?" Miyagi grumbled after a tortured moment, flopping around on the couch to face away from him.

Shinobu froze where he stood . He didn't care? Miyagi said that he didn't care… A heavy weight fell into his stomach and his throat tightened. He felt his breath catch, then he felt twinges of shock jolt his heart. He swallowed hard as he tried to comprehend. Slowly, he moved forward on weak legs, trembling ever so slightly. He closed the door behind him softly as he left, then went into his own apartment. He stood with his back to the door, gripping the knob for support. He felt the beginning of sobs building in his chest. He swallowed them and his hand came up to cover his mouth. He wasn't going to cry. He wouldn't let himself cry.

* * *

><p><strong>Huge thanks to all of the people who have sent me reviews! I'm so glad people like this story. I was a little nervous about starting a ShinobuMisaki type fic, so I appreciate your support! ^-^**


	4. Broken

**Chapter 4: Broken**

For the first few days after he came home from Shinobu's, Misaki tried to not argue with Usagi and to stay out of the man's way; however, four days of strict captivity was long enough. Every time he got even remotely close to the front door Usagi was there to distract him or to dare him to leave, absolutely forbidding him from taking even a step out of the pent house.

"Usagi-san, you have to let me go out sometime!" Misaki grumbled. "I have school and work. I've already missed two days and I've used most of my sick days. I keep telling you that nothing happened between Shinobu and I. Why can't you believe me?"

Unnoticed by the ranting teen, Usagi slowly rose from the couch and set his coffee down silently on the low table in front of him.

"That night I didn't come home, you waited for me." Misaki voice dropped to almost a whisper when he felt Usagi's arms around him; it took all he had to keep from crying. "You said you trusted me. Why can't you trust me now?" Misaki mentally kicked himself for the way he was acting, but he was indefinitely confused. The effect this man's touch always had on him was unsettling: it hurt. And this time, even the contact was ever so gentle, it felt like he was being crushed, smothered. A small, distant voice in his head murmured quietly, though not without impact:

_I don't deserve this…_

It was a stray thought that at the time held no meaning, mainly because he, himself, did not understand. This absurd sense of betrayal that was swelling to an increasingly present existence; the burning resentment for being treated like a child; and moreover, the gapping affliction of Usagi's mistrust.

Usagi frowned when he felt his lover trembling. "I love you," he said softly.

Misaki flinched. "You didn't answer my question."

"…"

Misaki pushed him away, tart irritation burning in his eyes as he scowled at the ground.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Misaki, relieved and thankful for the distraction, moved to answer it, but was caught by an arm and jerked around. Usagi kissed him fiercely, fervently. Misaki's throat tightened, and he just couldn't take it any longer. Something just didn't feel right, but that didn't make sense. Did anything _ever_ feel right before? He'd never paid attention, but it must have to feel so off, so wrong, so _empty_ now.

He tore away from him before Usagi could see him beginning to cry and made for the door hastily. Jerking it open, he was surprised to see Shinobu standing there, but even more startled at his own reaction to this boy. Alleviation flushed through his entire body, making him feel weak. He hesitated only a moment before escaping to the elevator with his friend in tow. Just before the doors closed, Misaki saw Usagi staring after him, a hurt, torn expression on his face as he hovered undecidedly between the door and the elevator. Acute pangs of remorse twisted knifes in Misaki's stomach and hot tears burned his eyes like acid.

"Misaki…?" Shinobu asked, bewildered.

Trying desperately to calm himself, the auburn-haired boy wiped his eyes vehemently and murmured as evenly as he could manage, "It's nothing. I'm sorry."

"That man is your boyfriend, right?" he guessed at length.

Misaki twitched and nodded.

Shinobu watched him carefully, disheartened by what he saw. True, he did not know why Misaki was crying, but he assumed that man had hurt him somehow. Naturally, he thought of his own situation with Miyagi. It probably wasn't the same, but by Misaki's dirty, passionate way of crying he knew that he felt just as miserable as he had these past months. But he didn't know what to do now with this weeping boy; he had never been on this side of a situation before. Shinobu remembered that Misaki had allowed him to cry on his shoulder that time, so perhaps, maybe, he should too? Shinobu hesitated, then he took the brunette into his arms gently.

Startled, Misaki started to pull away but something made him stop himself. Instead, he worked hastily to halt his tears. It was near to impossible to calm himself down, especially since his chest hurt increasingly more now hat he was with Shinobu. In spite of how uneasy he was, he also felt strangely comforted. As the elevator reached the bottom, Misaki did withdraw from the boy. "I'm sorry. I'm fine, really," he said, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

Shinobu followed him into the main lobby, keeping his eyes on the ornament carpet beneath his feet as he walked. His cheeks burned and his stomach was tight, and he resented it. He screamed inwardly at himself, embarrassed by his own actions.

Misaki stopped suddenly, a thought coming to him. He turned to look at Shinobu oddly. "How do you know where I live anyway?" _Not that I'm not grateful you showed up, _he added silently to himself. _Although Usagi probably got the wrong idea._

"My dad is the dean of the literature department at Mitsuhashi," he said simply, as if that would suffice as an efficient answer. Misaki pretended like he wasn't freaked out the his records could be obtained so easily and asked why Shinobu had came in the first place. The blond thought about that, then answered "No reason…" he just wanted to see him. Then he suggested that they could go do something to give Misaki time to calm down before returning home.

Misaki thought on this. That seemed like a good idea, but he felt guilty enough already. "Maybe I should go apologize now…" he ventured. "It doesn't feel right: leaving things how they are now."

"I understand," he murmured, although the was disappointed, and a little more than annoyed. "Well then… er… good luck?" he added, hoping it was appropriate.

Misaki thanked him grimly and took a deep breath before returning to the elevator. Shinobu waited till he was gone, then shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "I guess I had better return this," he mumbled to himself.

xXxXx

Miyagi walked down the hallway languidly, one hand gripping his bag and his other stuffed into his pocket. His head throbbed from a receding crapulence, of which was becoming exceedingly familiar. Also becoming eerily common ground was the feeling of forgotten memories, a voidance where yesterdays should be, only snippets of dream-like happenings remained. "Dream," however, would be an understatement. Try "nightmare." A conflict with Shinobu - that's what was haunting him, but he couldn't remember why. He struggled fruitlessly to remember and he felt utterly hopeless, like the feeling one gets after waking up and not being able to recall the astral plane he had just departed from.

He sighed and began to unlock the door to his office, surprised to find that it was already unlocked. Kamijou didn't usually get here till later. He opened it and went in wearily. "Kamijooouuu, comfort me…" he cooed, but stopped when he looked up to see who was actually in the room. Shinobu stood next to the filing cabinet, a folder open before him. The boy sent the professor a peculiar askance glance but otherwise appeared unbothered by him. He went on with what he was doing: he unfolded a paper, placed it in the folder, and returned it to the cabinet.

Miyagi watched him carefully from where he stood just inside the door.

Shinobu didn't look at him as pushed the drawer shut and turned to leave. He paused beside Miyagi and his way out and slipped a small metal object into his hand. "You always wanted me to give this back," he muttered darkly. Then, he left without another word. Miyagi watched him out of the corner of his eye until the door shut with a shudder.

Releasing the breath he hadn't noticed what he was holding. Miyagi opened his hand to stare at the little key Shinobu had placed in his palm. He knew what this was, it was the a copy of the key to his office Shinobu had made right after they had started dating. When asked why he needed a key to Miyagi's workplace, Shinobu answered, _"So we can be together!" "Bullshit," _Miyagi had said and half-heartedly demanded that he return it, but Shinobu refused fervently. After that Miyagi didn't argue about it much, though he wasn't happy. But now he wasn't happy that Shinobu was giving it back.

Miyagi's attention was suddenly fixed on the cabinet Shinobu had been in earlier. It contained the literature students records in it - why would Shinobu be interested in that? Curious and suspicious, Miyagi went over to investigate. Inside, one manila folder was left slightly askew from the rest. He pulled it out. Written on the front was [Takahashi Misaki]. Vaguely, he recognized the name from when he had subbed for one of Kamijou's classes a few years ago. Takahashi would be a third-year, so he was in Shinobu's class. He flipped the file open and stared disbelievingly at the picture clipped to the upper-hand corner. This sparked the memories he could not seem to remember earlier: of that night, of Shinobu and this boy, what they did in front of him, how he felt, what he said to Shinobu the next day, all of it.

"Shinobu!" he yelled, bursting into the hallway in hope of catching the boy before he got too far. But if he was heard then he was spitefully ignored. He was about to chase after him when he realized there were already students in the hallway, and they were staring at him, duly bewildered. Miyagi straightened up and went back into his office, latching the door behind him. His breath came fast and his eyes burned. _What's wrong with me…?_ he thought despairingly.

* * *

><p><strong>To all my reviewers: 3 thank you 3 and sorry for the wait ^-^; The next chapter is already well underway.<strong>

**Please tell me what you think so far of the characters' feelings, intentions, motives, etc. and plot and whatnot. There are two routes this story can take, and I need to know the impression its given off to this point to decide which direction it will go. The more feedback I get the quicker I can work out the rest of the story's bumps and the sooner I'll post ^-^**


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